A's overhauls

So there was big news today that Billy Beane, having decided that the health of Eric Chavez was too much for this team, decided to do all it took to make this team ready to compete.:

1. He traded Joe Blanton to the Astros for Miguel Tejada.
2. He then made a phone call and traded Huston Street to the Yankees for Jason Giambi.
3. Putting the touches on a long standing deal, he dealt Rich Harden to the Orioles for Ramon Hernandez.
4. Gutting the Farm System, he sent Carlos Gonzalez, Gio Gonzalez, Fautino De Los Santos, and Ryan Sweeney to the Giants for Barry Zito.
5. Mark Ellis was sent to the Cardinals for Jason Isringhausen.
6. Chad Gaudin, Justin Duchscherer, Emil Brown, and Cash Considerations were sent to the Braves for Tim Hudson.
7. Jack Cust was offered to the Yankees for Johnny Damon, who also wanted Kurt Suzuki, and the A's obliged.
8. Bobby Crosby, Mike Sweeney, Brooks Conrad, and Andrew Brown were sent to the ChiSox for Jermaine Dye.
9. Free Agents Jeremy Giambi and Terrence Long to 2 year deals.
10. After Bob Geren promptly stormed out in frustration, Art Howe was hired as the interim manager.

Beane was quoted as saying after the frenzy was done saying "Hey, let's face it, this is a weak division. I know what I'm doing here--I do it all the time. These signings will put us over the other teams in the league, and we will win baseball games."

When asked about how he will deal with the overwhelmingly large payroll boost he'll need to pay these players, Beane quipped "Well, we've been sort of saving money up over the years. People think we're a small market team, but it's sort of like saving up one's allowance for a Nintendo Wii. We haven't bought any big players for a while, so this is our proverbial Nintendo Wii."

The "Nintendo Wii" philosophy has drawn a lot of criticism among the community. Baseball Prospectus Joe Sheehan claimed that "This is exactly the kind of statistical know-how and surprise that makes Beane the best in the game. Whereas he used to win by putting value on undervalued guys, now he'll win by putting value on old men, who are now as undervalued as fat guys were in 2002."

Scouts are against it. Joe Morgan was quoted on his telecast last night as saying "Billy Beane wrote the book on idiocy. Moneyball? More like "Dummyball!" While I do like all of these old men and will continue to support them in all of my telecasts, Billy Beane's book is the single stupidest thing I haven't read."

Ironically, Micheal Lewis recently began work on his new book "Dummyball: The Art of Making Everyone else think they're Dumb in an Unfair Game," which is planned for release early next year after the A's win their inevitable World Series ring.

The Giambi brothers, after bumping heads and cheering upon seeing eachother in today's lineup, stated that "This is the greatest thing to happen to us since ster....ility. We sure do love sterility when being injected with completely legal B12 Vitamins to help our careers. Yup. Go A's."

It's the opinion of this blogger that Beane seems to have done it again--We're once again in a position to win the Championship thanks to Billy. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go buy season tickets in the hopes that we'll have a payroll to keep these guys around for a few years while they play from the Geriatric Ward.